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Heller Levinson

June 27, 2012



More explosive than my orgasm was her response.
“Kant says that destiny is a rearrangement of chaotic decimals.”

That was a first.  No partner had ever quoted Kant before.  In fact, I couldn’t remember a partner ever saying anything memorable after lovemaking.  I stayed over.

I didn’t know much about her.  Barely knew her name, … Cindy I think.  Met her at the Cakeshop where we were both listening to the Bernie Nix trio.  At intermission I struck up a conversation at the bar, discussed jazz:  did she think Bernie’s playing had changed much since his days with Ornette, was she up on younger players like Joe Giglio and John Stowell, you know … lubricants, … while all of me was entirely focused on primal concerns, I’m not sure I listened to her responses, certainly I couldn’t quote them for you, I was intent on the seduction, on satisfying the proverbial goal of  “getting my rocks off.”

It was rare for me to spend the night.  I enjoyed sex.  I enjoyed variety.  I enjoyed going back to my own digs.  But a Kantian orgasm?  You just don’t mess with that.

In the morning I woke to:  “Heraclitus says time is a function of memory which in turn is a nervous response to one’s environment.”  Then she took me in her mouth.

A week later – never having left her apartment – and more practiced, I was taking her doggie style on the floor when she popped “Hegel felt that the Historic was nothing but an opportunity for Spirit to empiricize the formulaic,” – we came together.  Our love making had reached a pitch of perfection.  Going on three weeks and I had never returned to my place.  I couldn’t bear to be away from her.  She had broken through.  I wasn’t the same man.  I was hooked.

After a long day, I was fatigued and went to bed.  I wasn’t in the mood.  She whispered in my ear, “Descartes felt that the Mind should be considered a First Principle,” – it stood upright.  I was delirious.  I finally understood what love was.  I couldn’t wait to call Mom and Dad.  To pop the question.  The following night, while drinking champagne, I said,

“Aristotle said Love was the continuous conversation.”
“Yes,” she said.




Heller Levinson lives in NYC where he studies animal behavior.  He has published in over a hundred journals and magazines including Alligatorzine, The Cartier Street Review, Counterexample Poetics, ditch poetry, First Literary Review-East, Hunger, Jacket,The Jivin’ Ladybug, Mad Hatters’ Review, Mad Swirl, Mid-June, Moria, Omega, Otoliths, Poets for Living Water, Skidrow Penthouse, Street Cake Magazine, Sugar Mule, Sulfur, Talisman, Tears In The Fence, The Wandering Hermit, The Toronto Quarterly, A Trunk Full of Delirium, Venereal Kittens, and Wood Coin.  His publication, Smelling Mary (Howling Dog Press, 2008), was nominated for both the Pulitzer Prize and the Griffin Prize.  Black Widow Press published his from stone this running in 2012. Additionally, he is the originator of Hinge Theory.

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